As we approach The Queen's Jubilee, I cannot help but get swept along with all of the excitement manifested in the displays throughout London; flags, banners, bunting and shop windows. Seeing the red, white and blue everywhere fills me with pride.
I did my first Jubilee concert yesterday in Catford, decked out in a full length (tasteful) Union Jack patterned dress with diamond accessories. I was relieved to see that the venue had gone to town too, with their own decorations covering the hall right down to the audience, who were sporting their finery with a red, white and blue theme. It was when I began to sing 'There'll Always Be An England' that the audience bowled me over as they leapt to their feet, waving their flags with gusto. There's something about the rousing anthems which we connect to our country - Jerusalem, Land of Hope and Glory, There'll Always Be An England, Rule Britannia and the like - which have such power to stir the soul. I never fail to get teary eyed when a crowd earnestly gets to its feet to sing our national anthem. Whether you are a monarchist or not, it's difficult to be too cynical about our beautiful diamond Queen, who has lead such an exemplary life and who unites the country in such a positive way. I'm sure this will be evident throughout the UK over the next few days when we see the turn out of the crowds in London, and communities coming together with street parties and events held right across the nation.
Working on The London Showboat for City Cruises has also given me an insight into how special The Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant is going to be this Sunday, 3rd June 2012. They are frantically readying their fleet for all the momentous events they have planned. I was honoured last week when the BBC asked if they could come and film me singing on The London Showboat, followed by an interview where I talked about what it is like to work as a singer on the boats, and daily life on the River Thames. This will be part of a series of short documentaries televised throughout the BBC live broadcast of the Pageant, so keep an eye out for me!
With the current economic situation being as difficult as it is at the moment, I do feel a sense of pride in our country, rallying round for these big celebrations and embracing the festive spirit. Life is for living and it's important to 'always look on the bright side of life'. Don't worry about the things thst are out of your control, go with the flow and focus on the things you can control. So this weekend, get out and enjoy the sunshine wherever possible and relish the celebratory atmosphere that we can muster up as a United Kingdom.
The highlight of my week (or maybe my year) was getting to see Jonathan Kent's production of Sweeney Todd at The Adelphi theatre. Oh my goodness!
Sweeney Todd is right up there as one of my favourite musicals of all time. I have seen numerous versions live and recorded, including John Doyle's 2004 revival at The Ambassadors, where the 10 strong cast also played the score themselves on instruments incorporated in the staging! I was sceptical about Michael Ball playing the demon barber; my impression of him is the loveable cheeky chappy, but he was absolutely mind blowing. I was bowled over by the power and strength with which he sang the role... I now realise I'd never fully heard Sweeney Todd's agonising laments until last week. And he was so butch! I had high expectations of Imelda Staunton, being a huge admirer of her as an actress, yet she still overwhelmed me with how skilfully she made Mrs Lovett her own, delivering Sondheim's human pie witticisms during 'A Little Priest' as if it were the first time I'd heard them. I thought the whole production had real grit to it, bringing out the the disturbingly dark themes like no other version I'd previously seen. I think it's exciting when musical theatre successfully branches out from it's stereotypical 'razzle dazzle' and delivers instead a poignant, dark piece of intelligent theatre with fortitude. Stephen Sondheim is the master! It was with delight (and a touch of envy) that I sat in the gods as the chorus raised its voice for 'The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd'. What I wouldn't give to have the opportunity to sing such powerful music on a West End stage...
Although, maybe not this week.
My blog is to be dictated a little by the frustrating week I've had in general!
Finally, with better weather and lighter evenings comes a more regular London Showboat. I sing onboard the Showboat a few times a week as the main entertainment on a three hour evening dinner cruise along The River Thames. I'd been looking forward to a busy week of shows for the Easter break, only to be struck down by laryngitis and rendered completely incapable of singing. This has never happened to me before (I am generally one of those annoying people who is rarely effected by illness) and I have to say, I was really perturbed! I couldn't make a squeak let alone belt out a rendition of 'All That Jazz'. Losing my voice made me realise that I completely, 100%, rely on being able to sing to earn my living, and there is nothing else that comes close to being a secondary career option. I did have to accept that I needed someone to cover the shows - another first for me. It was a weird feeling having someone act as 'understudy' - at first I felt extremely grateful that I didn't have to worry about what would happen with the show, but then came the anxiety of having someone else doing my show and acknowledging that I am replaceable!
Being replaceable is obviously not the greatest of feelings, but the realisation of it does make me feel grateful for the work that I have got and the opportunities that people have given to me in the past, when they might have chosen somebody else. This weeks debilitation has also inspired me to come back fighting. Singing is what I love, it's my life and I most definitely can't imagine myself doing anything else for a living at this moment in time. Sometimes I lose sight of this amongst the constant CV mail-outs, casting submissions and rejections, but as the saying goes, I will not let them grind me down. I've worked so hard and I know that I have what it takes to perform in a show (like Sweeney Todd) on a West End stage... I have to be in the right place at the right time at some point in my career!
It's hard to take the knock-backs time and time again, but focus on the things you are achieving and keep striving to be better - don't let anyone convince you that your dreams are pie-in-the-sky (particularly not Mrs Lovett's!). You may be replaceable in certain areas of your life, but by being the best that you can be, you can make it difficult for anyone to find a the right replacement!
My husband works in the communications department for an accountancy firm. He is working late tonight with the rest of his team, helping to provide a corporate response to the Budget announcement that was made this afternoon. It's as twilight descends in my office/ bedroom, and I think of the long evening ahead of him, that I start reflecting on my recent CV mail outs.
Over the last few weeks I have been targeting theatre venues which I deem obtainable in terms of me auditioning and appearing in their productions. To put it bluntly, I am asking for the opportunity to apply for a job which I probably won't be paid for! I know I am not alone in this constant 'beavering away' to attain the much coveted 'job'. We are a massively over-saturated industry and competition is fierce. What baffles me is that the Government feels justified in making cuts to the arts, forcing projects to continue unfunded and therefore relying on artistes who are desperate for employment to work for free. With this in mind, I think it quite fair to say that we as a workforce are exploited. Arts and entertainment are an integral part of our existence, so, as they say, "the show must go on". However, I can't imagine any other industry that would accept the exploitation of its workers in such a way. Look what happened when Tesco supported the Government's workfare scheme, where shelf stackers worked for free.
Credit where credit's due, despite the lack of funding, artistes still produce top quality work. Take for instance, those at The Southwark Playhouse. I went last night to see its production of Adam Guettel's musical Floyd Collins starring Glenn Carter. Set within the Kentucky caves, it was so aptly performed within The Vault, emotionally charged, and earnestly played, that I really felt myself suffocating along with the hero, Floyd. It was a special piece of theatre. Speaking to one of the actors afterwards, he said he was exhausted, doing the show in the evening but having to work an office job in the day because the profit-share doesn't cover his rent... and this is professional theatre! Needless to say, he gave a fantastic performance.
So, I know this is a topic way out of my hands, but I wanted to dedicate a blog to the hard work and persistence of fellow artistes. What can be seen as a glamorous career choice is, for the majority, in reality, a daily battle. The determination stems from a real passion for what we do in which money has a minimalistic influence. It's not a plea for sympathy but more a homage to all the talented people out there who don't get the recognition they deserve.
This week I am heading out to my favourite London Theatre, The Menier Chocolate Factory. What makes me love this fringe theatre so much is the energy which pulses through its very foundations, threatening that anything is possible.The dusky smell of the place when I walk through the doors fills me with excitement and anticipation. Every production is distinctly unique, transforming the box-like space sublimely to accommodate whichever theatrical genre they have decided to host. From the elegant simplicity of the first production I saw there, Jason Robert Brown's The Last Five Years to the most recent, high-tech computer games/ matrix infused revival of Stephen Schwartz's Pippin. There never seems to be any boundaries.
So, tonight I anticipate walking in to a carefully constructed and suitably gaudy 1970's lounge/ diner for their revival of Mike Leigh's highly acclaimed Abigail's Party starring Jill Halfpenny. It's a play that holds fond memories for me, sitting with my family, giggling and crying in equal measures at the comical larger-than-life yet deeply tragic characters portrayed.
A few years ago, I signed up for the Menier's first musical theatre course, aimed at professionals looking for guidance from those at the top of their game. For me, the opportunity to experience the theatre from the inside was a chance not to be missed, whilst also entertaining the idea that this could lead to a lucky break...
The course was as inspiring as I'd hoped but I did come away feeling a little disappointed at the lack of opportunity for me to be an individual performer, rather than a group of people on a course, and the ultimate realisation that I was unlikely to get any career advancement out of it. Over the years I have experienced numerous instances like this, doing everything in my power to put myself into situations where I can get noticed and yet failing to be noticed. It's so easy to become disheartened and begin wondering, "what is the point?".
However, deep down I know that there most definitely is a point. Nothing is for nothing! By putting yourself out there and at least trying, you are proclaiming your own self worth and self belief, automatically putting yourself in the right mind set to achieve.
Needless to say, completely indirectly, following on from the course I auditioned to be part of The Brick Lane Music Hall Rep company where I have been given fantastic opportunities to do what I love to do, perform.
My first post!
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I feel compelled to explain why I have decided to begin this blog and under this specific title!
2012 (my first year as a married lady) has somehow managed to channel a focused beam of light straight ahead of me, illuminating what it is I want to achieve at this moment in my life. Maybe this clarity has emerged through the recent promises made to a husband I want to share the rest of my life with, maybe it is the increasing momentum with which my 30th birthday looms, or maybe it is the reflections on the brute determination with which I have strived over the last decade, bringing me to this point, right now. Whatever the reason, I am here on this virtual stage looking to share my thoughts with you.
So, this is me... my passion is for singing and performing, my hopes are to be noticed and acknowledged and my thoughts today go out to everyone pursuing a dream. With a focus on being proactive, this week I have begun a video diary on my YouTube channel, giving myself the fulfilment of performing and hopefully reaching out to a wider audience.
My video diary
If you can't believe in yourself you'll find it difficult convincing others to believe in you. It's easy to be your own worst critic, why not try being your own best friend.
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