Winds of Change

On the winds of change floats the promise of spring. April: a time for cleaning out the closets, folding away the winter woolies and sweeping away the cobwebs. A time to feel reborn, re-motivated, filled with purpose... or so I am telling myself as I fold away my heavy dark coloured apparel of the last few months, into the storage box, out of which I'd unpacked the fresh, pastel, floral ensembles for the Summer. A quarter of the way through the year already!

2012 is set to be an important year for Great Britain, as we keep being told. Living close to Stratford over the last nine years, it has been exciting watching the Olympic Park spring up from what was merely derelict-looking industrial buildings. So I was thrilled to be part of it's first public event, hosted last Sunday. The test event was organised by the Gold Challenge, a charity challenge where you are encouraged to take on Olympic sports and Paralympic sports to raise money for your charity of choice. Schools and organisations from across Great Britain participated in the charity races along with sporting legends such as Austin Healey, Gareth Thomas, Mike Catt, Dame Mary Peters and I think I even heard Fatima Whitbread's name mentioned too! Combine this with entertainment from Dionne Bromfield, Paul Potts, Spellbound and, interestingly, a talented upcoming group called The Boxettes, who use only their voices to create their songs - no instruments and no effects - and you'll get a picture of what a memorable day it was. Sitting with my husband inside the stadium alongside all the other families, I was emotionally ambushed with an overwhelming sense of pride and love for the children involved, some as young as four, able bodied and disabled, each relishing this opportunity to compete in front of thousands of people inside this huge stadium. Kids whose only other experience of racing was during a school sports day infront of their mums and dads, rising to the challenge. Their excitement and joy was infectious and I found myself being swept up by the fervour of the London 2012 Olympic Games. The commentator announcing that, "Dreams will be made here this Summer".

Watching the endless stream of schools during the parade, I became a little nostalgic... It's now ten years since I was in my final year of school. Savouring the Easter holidays before the onslaught of 'A' Level exams. Although, at that time, the pressure had been eased for me as I had just received my letter of acceptance from The Italia Conti Academy of Theatre Arts, offering me a full scholarship... my dreams were being made!

As I reflect upon my school days, I think I knew even at the time that they were special days, shared with the very best of friends in a setting straight out of a fictional novel. Standing sentinel on the top of a hill overlooking the town of Leek is Westwood High School, a converted 19th century manor house, originally home to a famous Stoke-on-Trent potter family, The Davenports, who are said to have built over an existing house belonging to one of Henry VIII's favourite Knights. The historical prowess of the school and it's grounds radiates from the very foundations. I definitely feel privileged to have been a part of its alumni and being educated by such a passionate and inspiring teaching faculty. The most valuable lesson I learned there, however, was to be myself, and although sometimes other people can make this difficult, I think fundamentally my actions are based on being true to myself and true to my morals. 

I am by no means morose as I look back at this period in my life. To the contrary, it's with comfort that I remember the optimism and excitement which I felt as an 18 year old about the next stage of life's journey. I have not achieved all that I hoped I would in the last decade, but I know that the achievements I have made are no small feat. To be true to myself, I will continue to achieve for as long as I have the dreams to fulfil. Looking at those inspiring kids on Sunday, bursting with life, ambition and the joys of spring reminds me that we all have our own dreams, be they great or small, all just as important in their own way. For a man without dreams is like a bird without wings. So, with this change of the wind, breathe in the scent of possibility and turn your dreams into reality. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them (Walt Disney).

Credit Where Credit's Due

My husband works in the communications department for an accountancy firm. He is working late tonight with the rest of his team, helping to provide a corporate response to the Budget announcement that was made this afternoon. It's as twilight descends in my office/ bedroom, and I think of the long evening ahead of him, that I start reflecting on my recent CV mail outs.


Over the last few weeks I have been targeting theatre venues which I deem obtainable in terms of me auditioning and appearing in their productions. To put it bluntly, I am asking for the opportunity to apply for a job which I probably won't be paid for! I know I am not alone in this constant 'beavering away' to attain the much coveted 'job'. We are a massively over-saturated industry and competition is fierce. What baffles me is that the Government feels justified in making cuts to the arts, forcing projects to continue unfunded and therefore relying on artistes who are desperate for employment to work for free. With this in mind, I think it quite fair to say that we as a workforce are exploited. Arts and entertainment are an integral part of our existence, so, as they say, "the show must go on". However, I can't imagine any other industry that would accept the exploitation of its workers in such a way. Look what happened when Tesco supported the Government's workfare scheme, where shelf stackers worked for free.


Credit where credit's due, despite the lack of funding, artistes still produce top quality work. Take for instance, those at The Southwark Playhouse. I went last night to see its production of Adam Guettel's musical Floyd Collins starring Glenn Carter. Set within the Kentucky caves, it was so aptly performed within The Vault, emotionally charged, and earnestly played, that I really felt myself suffocating along with the hero, Floyd. It was a special piece of theatre. Speaking to one of the actors afterwards, he said he was exhausted, doing the show in the evening but having to work an office job in the day because the profit-share doesn't cover his rent... and this is professional theatre! Needless to say, he gave a fantastic performance.


So, I know this is a topic way out of my hands, but I wanted to dedicate a blog to the hard work and persistence of fellow artistes. What can be seen as a glamorous career choice is, for the majority, in reality, a daily battle. The determination stems from a real passion for what we do in which money has a minimalistic influence. It's not a plea for sympathy but more a homage to all the talented people out there who don't get the recognition they deserve.

Nothing is for Nothing

This week I am heading out to my favourite London Theatre, The Menier Chocolate Factory. What makes me love this fringe theatre so much is the energy which pulses through its very foundations, threatening that anything is possible.The dusky smell of the place when I walk through the doors fills me with excitement and anticipation. Every production is distinctly unique, transforming the box-like space sublimely to accommodate whichever theatrical genre they have decided to host. From the elegant simplicity of the first production I saw there, Jason Robert Brown's The Last Five Years to the most recent, high-tech computer games/ matrix infused revival of Stephen Schwartz's Pippin. There never seems to be any boundaries.


So, tonight I anticipate walking in to a carefully constructed and suitably gaudy 1970's lounge/ diner for their revival of Mike Leigh's highly acclaimed Abigail's Party starring Jill Halfpenny. It's a play that holds fond memories for me, sitting with my family, giggling and crying in equal measures at the comical larger-than-life yet deeply tragic characters portrayed.


A few years ago, I signed up for the Menier's first musical theatre course, aimed at professionals looking for guidance from those at the top of their game. For me, the opportunity to experience the theatre from the inside was a chance not to be missed, whilst also entertaining the idea that this could lead to a lucky break...


The course was as inspiring as I'd hoped but I did come away feeling a little disappointed at the lack of opportunity for me to be an individual performer, rather than a group of people on a course, and the ultimate realisation that I was unlikely to get any career advancement out of it. Over the years I have experienced numerous instances like this, doing everything in my power to put myself into situations where I can get noticed and yet failing to be noticed. It's so easy to become disheartened and begin wondering, "what is the point?".


However, deep down I know that there most definitely is a point. Nothing is for nothing! By putting yourself out there and at least trying, you are proclaiming your own self worth and self belief, automatically putting yourself in the right mind set to achieve.


Needless to say, completely indirectly, following on from the course I auditioned to be part of The Brick Lane Music Hall Rep company where I have been given fantastic opportunities to do what I love to do, perform.

The Beginning Of The Future

My first post!


I feel compelled to explain why I have decided to begin this blog and under this specific title!


2012 (my first year as a married lady) has somehow managed to channel a focused beam of light straight ahead of me, illuminating what it is I want to achieve at this moment in my life. Maybe this clarity has emerged through the recent promises made to a husband I want to share the rest of my life with, maybe it is the increasing momentum with which my 30th birthday looms, or maybe it is the reflections on the brute determination with which I have strived over the last decade, bringing me to this point, right now. Whatever the reason, I am here on this virtual stage looking to share my thoughts with you.


So, this is me... my passion is for singing and performing, my hopes are to be noticed and acknowledged and my thoughts today go out to everyone pursuing a dream. With a focus on being proactive, this week I have begun a video diary on my YouTube channel, giving myself the fulfilment of performing and hopefully reaching out to a wider audience.


My video diary 


If you can't believe in yourself you'll find it difficult convincing others to believe in you. It's easy to be your own worst critic, why not try being your own best friend.